I wasn't there

No, no sir, I wasn’t there. Nope, not at all. I don’t know what you’re thinking but I wasn’t there. I was home. Home all night. No, no, I know I was home all night ‘cause that was the night of the game. Ya, you know, the last game Brady was in. Poor showing, if you ask me, but hell, whatd’ya gonna do?. I mean, the man is forty-three. It was only a matter of time before he couldn’t keep up with the rest of them.

Right? If I was him, I’d stay home with that saucy wife of his. Damn, she makes the money anyways. That’s what we all need. A wife like that. I wouldn’t be running around on my wife if I had a wife like Giselle. Now that’s a fine woman.

Wait, what? No, I did not say I was running around on my wife. No, no—you misheard me. Just like you keep asking where I was that night and I keep telling you I was at home. At home, watching the game. At home, where my old hag—no, seriously, she’s an old hag. Brother, there was a time when—mmmm, man, let me tell you. She was something. But she can vouch for me. I was home, all night. She’ll prolly tell you I was demanding beer and pretzels but hell, I was home. Ask her. Call her up and ask her.

Oh, you have?

What? That bitch said I wasn’t home. No, I will not calm down. Just like that bitch to lie. That worthless hag.

You-you have my fingerprints? Well shit, of course you do. Ya, ya, so I am running around on my wife. So, if you knew all this, why all this fucking rigmarole?

She’s dead?

No, wait. She can’t be dead. I just saw her last week. No, no, no, no, no. Edith, no!

I’m telling you. I was home. God’s honest truth. Tell you who wasn’t home. My old lady. And when she did get home, she was all funny like. No, not ha-ha funny; funny like something was wrong. Funny like she was all cagey. You find her fingerprints?