Managing Money

Money is a rough subject to talk about, especially with people where it’s been taboo all their lives. There are so many hangups surrounding money and we—at least in America—often conflate self-worth with the size of our bank accounts and our salary. One of the things that drew me to The Financial Gym was the way we talk about money: there is no shame, there is no judgment. It is refreshing.

One thing I have learned from being so passionate about personal finance is that the way people manage money are as varied and different as there are species on this earth. I have seen convoluted and confusing spreadsheets, elegant and precise spreadsheets, notebooks, scraps of paper, and just about every app under the sun. There is no end to the many different ways people track their spending, budget their money, and plan for their future.

My journey into personal finance and managing my money has evolved over the years, starting with a bankruptcy in my mid-twenties to now, with a six-figure net worth, no debt, and the ability to weather the covid-19 pandemic in relative ease. My friends and family will tell you I’m pretty good with money now and I’m often asked my thoughts about their personal situations. The following is how I think about money and planning for the future, preparing for the unknown, and feeling more secure with one’s money.

First, a little history

Before you think that it was easy for me, particularly because I’m in tech with a high salary, I did not start here. In my mid-twenties, I declared bankruptcy, which only discharged my credit card debt (this was due to some medical issues that wasn’t covered by health insurance at the time). My school loans, which came to just above $35,000 were hanging over my head with a $9.00 an hour job working at a dog kennel (loved the job, loved the owner…such good people there…one of my oldest friends is from that job). I still was stupid about money: drinks with friends and coworkers, partying ‘til the early morning hours, dancing, hung-over brunches, more than a few bad habits during that time. My focus was living the good life of a twenty-something. It’s also when my ex-wife and I started dating and she moved in. It was a good time but the experiences I had began shaping how I thought about money.

As part of the LGBTQ+ community, we tend to have a different history when it comes to health care and money. I lived in Denver when I was in my twenties and, at that time, we—meaning Americans—weren’t as woke as we are now (and I use that term lightly). It wasn’t that long ago that I had to pretend to be my girlfriend’s sister just so I could accompany her in the emergency room in Denver. My ex and I started to become familiar with the health care professionals, health insurance, and the huge drowning feeling that comes when ER bills and ambulance bills and prescriptions needing to be filled started to overflow our mailbox. My ex and I handled the bills and anxiety around them differently and, had I the chance to revisit this time in my life, I would welcome it (I don’t think I was as kind or patient with my ex as I could have been—I was once a hard woman and dogged in the belief that my opinion was the right opinion. How entirely awful of me). Add to this drowning feeling that I had just declared bankruptcy because of my own medical issues, the way I currently think about the importance of having money and access to great health care started to take root.

In 2010, my ex and I moved to Boston, where I got a job in an actual, VC-backed start-up, with a decent salary (still not six figures) and health care that was amazing. When the ER trips and visitations started up again, I no longer had to pretend to be her sister to see her. When the hospital bills started to show up again, they were for significantly less and the co-pay was handled with a company sponsored HSA. We began to see a way out of the mound of debt. I was holding a steady job, my salary began to grow, we got married, and the debt was regularly paid down. And then a coworker asked me if we were saving for retirement, I said No, we can’t afford it, and he told me that I needed to find a way because it’s time, not money, that makes a big difference. I dove into that rabbit hole.

All of this history to say that it wasn’t until we had a solid footing of a steady salary and health insurance that we were able to look toward the future. It’s been almost six years since my divorce but the eight years with my ex really shaped a lot of my viewpoints. She was a passionate advocate for the underserved and forgotten people of our society and is a big reason I believe in universal health care and social programs that support every American, even when that means that I am taxed higher because of these programs. If we have these social safety nets, then every American can look to and plan for the future, using their salaries and income-earning potential to build wealth. When we don’t have to decide between paying for an ER visit or buying groceries—or hell, even just getting a pizza delivered, because even little things like that shouldn’t be weighed against the crushing debt of health care—we can build a better life for ourselves. As they say, a rising tide raises all boats. And now, with the coronavirus pandemic something we’ve all experienced and millions of Americans losing health insurance due to it being tied to our employers, the necessity for universal health care and a basic income is more pressing than ever.

Money Management 101

There are a lot of terms that get thrown around in the personal finance world. And when you start to get into this world, it’s a lot of fun to learn about them. Expense ratios, rate of return, the one percent rule,