On Resiliency

This semester, I’m taking a course called Mindfulness, Meaning, and Resilience. It’s a fascinating course, with a focus on the practical, as well as the theoretical. I’m thoroughly enjoying it.

Life is inherently hard and stressful, I don’t think there’s a way around that. Add to that fact that we, as individuals, often want something more, whether it’s a promotion, traveling the world, learning to ride horses. Getting outside of our safe bubble of home and family involves some risk (and I have known more than a few people where home and family were themselves risky and not safe space at all). So, if we can agree that being human is a stressful experience, how can we handle that difficulty with equanimity and create a life that isn’t overwhelmed with fear and distress?

Resiliency

Resiliency seems to be a core component of living the good life (by good life, my definition is the ability to pursue one’s goals with minimal internal strife; I don’t want to be my own worst enemy). Resiliency even seems to be necessary in order to grow as a person. To define resiliency, we can look to a number of scientific studies, interpretations, and contemplative practices to give us a specific meanings but let’s just reduce it down to a simple definition: resiliency is the ability to bounce back from adverse events and stressors. Now, the word back is a bit of a misnomer; after experiencing a stressor, we don’t necessarily return to where we were before. There is an adaptation that takes place as we navigate difficult situations. Therefore, resiliency is our ability to accommodate and adjust appropriately to stress and adversity in order to live a sustainable life. It is less a singular trait of an individual and more “a process rather than an ability” (Berlin 3). Zautra et al and Berlin all refer to resilience as being comprised of factors—or, rather, traits, behaviors, and thought patterns—that an individual possesses. This paper will also use factors as a shorthand to discuss what constitutes resiliency. One other thing to note is that an individual isn’t either/or when talking about resiliency; they may show factors of resiliency in one scenario, and completely devolve into negative behaviors in another. Resiliency “comprises a spectrum of merits that can be possessed to varying degrees” (Sivilli and Pace 3). In other words, an individual isn’t a static collection; they are continuously changing, learning, and adapting.

Some of the defining factors of resiliency have been identified as “laughter, positive affect, and optimism; emotional range, as well as maturity (…); and the capacity for empthay and support for others” (Zautra et al 11). Berlin goes on to state that there are eight specific factors when speaking specifically of spiritual resiliency: “resistance, spiritual will, acceptance, receptivity, meaning, hope, connection, and unconditional love” (11). Sivilli and Pace share that “confidence, emotional regulation and mental flexibility” (2) are important factors, and that these factors can indeed be learned.

This paper doesn’t have the space to perform any sort of deep dive on each of the above factors of resiliency, nor would the practice be worthwhile. Rather, I want to discuss how to improve an individual’s resiliency factors (I won’t touch upon community or group resiliency in this paper—however, evidence points to the importance of being a part of a resilient community on an individual level, enhancing their own resiliency). What is most fascinating to me is that humans have the ability to actually alter their neural pathways, either for both positive or negative traits, and that we do not need to be resigned to use only what we were born with. This is also supported by Sonja Lyubomirsky, a Distinguised Professor of Psychology at the University of California, Riverside, and author of The How of Happiness, in that, although 50% of an individual’s happiness is a genetic set point, and 10% are one’s life circumstances, a whopping 40% is under our control—our “intentional activity” (20) directly influences the happiness in our life, of which the resilient factors are key.

How

How exactly does one improve resiliency factors that may lead to living a happy life? Again, there are a number of practices here, some of which include laughter, having a positive affect, fulfilling a purpose in life, empathy and support for others. But, before any of this occurs, we must have awareness of our predicament, the situation we find ourselves in. Meditation and mindfulness training is key to developing the ability to be aware of our situation, and giving us the mental clarity with which to work with difficult stressors, while not falling prey to the endless rumination and identification of who we are with our mostly inane and inaccurate default thoughts. Improving concentration and attention “can be trained in as little as six weeks of practice” (Sivilli and Pace 15), so real change can occur in novices in a relatively short period of time. This is important because we must be able to see our situation for what it truly is before we can responsibily and actively pursue improvements.

Once we are aware, and have the ability to get some distance, there are two factors that seem key to me to foster resiliency, and they are directly related to each other: metacognition (thinking about thinking) and perception around the immediate stressor. Metacognition, or a human’s unique ability to think about their thoughts without identifying with them (e.g., we are not our thoughts) is the first step in becoming a more resilient individual. Having this ability means we are nurturing awareness, and seeing things as they truly are. Seeing things truthfully, without our internal ruminations that are often spurious interpretations of said event, allows an objectivity in how we can then perceive the stressor. This perception is a wholly subjective interpretation of the event, and as such, we have the ability to choose a different version. This is a human superpower, in my humble opinion.

Metacognition

Metacognition is our ability to think about the contents of our mind, without directly associating with that thought. An example would be that an individual made a mistake at work, and an immediate thought that occurs is, “I’m such an idiot!” A mindful individual would recognize that as exactly what it is, a thought that doesn’t define them, and be able to put it aside without attachment. This then leads to seeing the situation with more clarity and completeness. Perhaps the mistake was due to external factors, or something the individual missed, and not devolving into a thought cyclone of negative ruminations, the mindful individual can now choose how to react.

To be able to reason about our thinking regarding a stressor often takes place in the moment, or close to the stressful event, and becomes a “speed bump” between our raw, unadultered thoughts and the inevitable subsequent reaction. The second resiliency factor that is correlated, and may be the most important piece, is how one perceives the stressor and following events. Perception is how an individual understands the context of the stressor, their relation to the stressful event, and how their interpretations—what Sivilli and Pace term “appraisal” (6)—of the event hours, days, weeks, and years later may change and shift.